The Undeniable Sibling Love

Jayden absolutely adores his sister. That’s not just a father’s pride talking — it’s visible in every glance, every hug, every giggle that escapes when Assya is near. He may be non-verbal, but the bond between Jayden and Assya doesn’t need words. It’s written in the way his face lights up when she walks into a room, in the hugs that linger a little longer, and in the playful nudges that say more than any sentence ever could.

On most evenings, you’ll find them together in her room. Sometimes it’s quiet — Jayden stretched out beside her, calm and content, the world outside fading away. Other times, it’s far from quiet. Assya will break into one of her loud, unapologetic singing sessions, filling the house with her voice. And there’s Jayden, her most loyal audience. He watches her like she’s performing just for him. Sometimes he joins in with his happy flaps, bouncing in rhythm to her melody. Other times, he playfully tries to stop…

Assya the Intuitive Sister

Assya has come a long way in learning to read her brother. Over the years, she’s developed a kind of sixth sense about Jayden — knowing when his excitement is tipping into overload, when his sensory system is about to boil over. Without being told, she instinctively shifts gears. One moment it’s singing and laughter, the next it’s a quiet cuddle or a gentle presence by his side. That’s something no therapy manual could ever teach. It’s a gift born from love, patience, and years of living in the delicate ba…

She also takes pride in helping Jayden explore new things. If you’ve ever seen Jayden sample a spoonful of ice cream or take a cautious bite of a cream puff, chances are Assya was the one offering it. She delights in expanding his sensory world, one taste at a time. For most siblings, sharing food is nothing special. For them, it’s a small act of courage and trust. Every new texture on his tongue is a victory, every new flavor a bridge built between their worlds. And when Jayden accepts it, Assya beams with…

Rough Play, Real Love

Like any siblings, their bond isn’t all soft hugs and quiet cuddles. Sometimes it’s rough play — full-on “smackdown” sessions of tugging and pulling, rolling around, both of them laughing and squealing. Jayden will grab her arm and pull her close, planting kisses in bursts of affection. And then, in the middle of that same excitement, a bite might suddenly happen. Not intentional, not malicious — just an overflow of emotions in a body that doesn’t always know how to regulate itself. Assya has learned to ta…

These moments may look chaotic from the outside, but inside our home, they’re the heartbeat of siblinghood. The roughhousing, the kisses, even the occasional bite — they’re all part of a bond that is as real and raw as any between brother and sister.

The Shadow of the Future

But time is relentless. Assya is growing up fast, and university is just around the corner. With it comes the inevitable shift in our family’s rhythm. I can’t help but wonder about the void her absence will leave — not just for us as parents, but for Jayden most of all. He thrives in her presence. Her laughter, her energy, her love — these are constants in his life. What happens when she’s no longer there every evening to sing, to hug, to wrestle on the floor with him?

Here’s the raw truth: as his parents, Sisca and I are clear that Assya is not Jayden’s caretaker. That is not her responsibility, and it never will be. She is entitled to her own dreams, her own future, her own freedom to chase whatever life calls her toward. To place the burden of lifelong responsibility on her shoulders would be unfair — and we will never ask it of her. Her role is simply to be his sister. To love him. To be part of his world. To stay connected in ways that are natural and real.

Still, the questions creep in during quiet nights. I’m not getting any younger, and neither is Sisca. What happens when Jayden grows older? Where will Assya fit into his life then? Will she always be the sister who comes home for the holidays, sings too loudly for his liking, and sneaks him bites of new food? Or will the demands of her own life — career, family, adulthood — inevitably pull her further away?

Siblings in the Shadow of Autism

Raising siblings in the shadow of autism is one of the least talked-about parts of this journey. Parents worry — endlessly — about how the neurotypical child will grow up in an environment where so much attention, time, and energy is consumed by the autistic sibling. Will they feel overlooked? Resentful? Overburdened? Or will they grow into empathy and resilience, shaped by a childhood that asked more of them than most?

The truth is, it’s both. Studies show that siblings of autistic children often develop extraordinary empathy, patience, and maturity. But they can also struggle with feelings of isolation, or with the unspoken weight of expectations about “helping out.” That balance — between protecting Assya’s freedom and acknowledging her unique role in Jayden’s life — is one Sisca and I wrestle with often.

And yet, watching them together, I can’t help but think that Assya is already giving Jayden something no therapy session could ever replicate: unconditional sibling love. She doesn’t see him as a diagnosis. She doesn’t see him as a collection of challenges. She sees him as her brother. Her person. And that alone is priceless.

What Love Looks Like

Maybe that’s what sibling love really is in families like ours. It isn’t about sacrifice. It isn’t about obligation. It’s about presence. It’s the ability to sing too loudly, laugh too hard, hug too long, wrestle too roughly, and still show up even when life gets messy. It’s knowing when to push him to try that spoonful of ice cream and when to back off because his senses are overloaded. It’s the kind of bond that doesn’t need words, because the heart does all the talking.

One day soon, Assya will pack her bags and leave for university. Jayden will feel her absence in ways he can’t articulate, but he will feel it all the same. And yet, I believe their bond is strong enough to stretch across distance. Because what they share isn’t built on convenience or daily routines. It’s built on love — fierce, wordless, and enduring.

A Father’s Hope

I don’t know what the future holds. None of us do. But here’s what I hope: that Assya will always carry Jayden in her heart, even as she builds a life of her own. That Jayden, in his quiet way, will always know that his sister is his safe person, no matter how far she roams. And that Sisca and I will find ways to secure Jayden’s future so Assya can remain what she was always meant to be — his sister, not his caretaker.

Because at the end of the day, that’s all I want. For Assya to keep being his sister. Not because she has to. Not because we ask her to. But because she loves him, and he loves her — fiercely, playfully, completely.

This is Autism Raw.

This is our Unscripted Journey.